Where do you hear the songs?
In the space between wake and passing out, the hiss down the left of the dial, the faces of the kids when we pull up to the show, in answering machine hang up messages, in glasses colliding, transmissions whining, where the music doesn’t belong—where it lives. Everywhere, it’s all I hear.
What is your favorite wine?
My favorite wine is usually whatever is right in front of me.
Dear Jack, Is it true your eyes bleed? A friend of mine In England said that he saw it when you stayed at his parent’s house.
My stigmata has been wildly contested on wikipedia over an article in The New York Post and i think got someone in trouble with a Wiki truth enforcer working full time for them up in Canada! Don’t mess with those people! I do cry real blood, my pillow cases can attest. It doesn’t hurt though it is kind of disturbing to see. I’ve been to doctors about it and their replies have varied from “No they don’t.” to “you don’t need a doctor, you need a priest." It is however a very effective way to end an argument.
Dear Jack, I’m planning a dinner party. If you could join 6 people for dinner and drinks (anyone, be they alive or dead), who would be at your table? Are you available April 30?
Thank you for asking, I am always up for dinner and drinks. Well first off, I would like one of the five other people to be my date so that there is a whole other question. Who would the other two couples be? Initially i would say Nick and Nora Charles but i kinda want to ask Myrna Loy out myself so that would be weird (side note-if you are ever on Saint Mark’s Place close to First Avenue in front of the theater there Myrna Loy’s handprint and signature is pressed into the concrete. I often go out of my way to smile at it. tiny little hands!). I always wanted to party with Lux Interior and Poison Ivy. Since that leaves three dead people and two living ones how about Poison Ivy and I go together and let Lux pick his own date? who would Lux ask? Let’s explore- I’m guessing Jayne Mansfield. But then would Ivy be jealous thus meaning she and I would have a bad time? Can the living be jealous of the dead? Since Ivy is already angry about me eyeing Myrna I’d say that’s a yes. Crap. Things get so complicated. Just ask me out for a steak. Thanks.
Dear Jack, Do you have any tattoos?
Yes, I have several tattoos on my internal organs done with radioactive ink to impress x-ray technicians. I mean if people can see your ink without heavy duty medical equipment, whats the point? totally light weight.
Dear Jack, I notice that you spend a lot of time touring with the popular and dynamic music group for which you are so justifiably lauded. Tell me, what’s the most terrifying thing about being on the road?
Well, if i had to answer that question in one incredibly long run on sentence I think I’d say : dyslexia, depression, excessive anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, alcoholism, illicit drug abuse, weight loss, eating disorders, exhibitionism, persistent aggressive and violent behaviour, and hyperactivity combined with severe attention deficits.
Dear Jack, I loved you BECAUSE you were never political.
See: Only Anarchists Are Pretty, Brother of the Mayor of Bridgewater, Canonize Phillip K Dick, OK?, Ich Erinnere Mich an Die Weimar, Paul Robeson…
Nothing is not political. Being apolitical is a politics, and the wrong one.
The books that WIFS has lead me to so far (like The Master and Margarita, or The Wild Party) have been really great. Could you please let me know what you guys are reading now, or what you'd love for others to read? Thank you!
Happy to oblige are the bibliophiles:
-Aaron: Victor Pelevin “Homo Zapiens”
-P.O.J.Y. (in the most Jeffrey Young answer ever): the New York times and a Russian textbook
-Scott: not at the moment
-Mora: Mother Teresa’s letters (this is not a joke, she’s really digging it)
-Jack: Josef Škvorecký “The Bass Saxophone”
-Sandra: The works of Erik Larson
-Francis: Neil Stevenson “7 Eves”
I’m fighting every instinct in my soul to not just offer an early Soviet literature syllabus, but I’ll be good and leave it at this.
Did you actually burn down a firehouse during one of your shows in Bridgewater?
Will you be voting this year?
When will the next World/Inferno Friendship Society show be? All things considered we are much closer to the Inferno that we have been in recent years and a conference between both parties could be fruitful. I've always looked towards the World/Inferno during times of national and/or personal strife and I know that many others do as well. Also I've got a crush and I'm pretty sure the only time I'll ever see them again would be at one of you're shows - so this isn't entirely a noble appeal.
The feeling is entirely mutual: we, too, need your society as much as you need ours. Rest entirely assured that your strife is not for naught, and that we feel it as acutely as you are willing to share it with us. Seven or ten does not a Society make, and while filling your ears is fine, we’d like your eyes and hands upon us before things get any more out of hand. We have things to show you, and though we perish the thought of contact merely for the purpose of “catching up,” it’d be lovely to hear what you’ve been up to.
On that note, take our collective finger to your pursed lips, kitten: there is no nobler appeal than your crush, and it’s written into the very bylaws and edicts of the Inferno to bring together likeminded parties in congress, sexual, telepathic, therapeutic, or otherwise. Let’s get crushed together soon, shall we?
I can't settle down. I have cheated on every lover I've ever had because the thought of monogamy makes me feel weighed down. When I was younger, I used to think it was just my punk mindset and now I've come to think I might just be a jerk. Any thoughts?
Far be it from the Society to offers judgments moral, ethical, or juridical, and clearly we’d risk a deep and abiding hypocrisy to ever suggest anyone settle down for any reason at all, least of all now. If you have unduly harmed, needlessly prevaricated, or wantonly dissembled, then you’ll have to answer to no one but your own pumpkin god. Still, all things equal, our best guess is: jerk.
But hey, let that jerk flag fly, if that’s the permission you’re looking for. Without any direct reference to karmic balance or double predestination, these things have a way of working themselves out. They have for us, and they ought to for you. May all the hurts you’ve levied on those undeserving be visited doubly on you, and all the doubtless wonderful things you’ve done for those in need triply so.
Is it better to look classy or act classy?
Act. But one follows the other.
You should live your life with an emphasis on accruing experiences and becoming cooler.
What’s the most important thing in the world?
Walking the walk.
All you have to do is put all other concerns aside and your fondest desire will come true. Unfortunately, ‘all other concerns’ includes your health, financial well-being, interpersonal relationships, and often any inkling of why you had this desire in the first place. Good luck!
Trouble is a great deal of fun, and crimes committed without malice are usually forgiven among peers.
Money should never be the reason you ever do or don’t do anything. I haven’t paid rent in 3 months.
Have you noticed that bank tellers are almost always very attractive? Is it because they’re on display back there behind the glass so close and yet so far? Or is it like bartenders they have so much of what we want?
If I am not doing something illicit, I feel absolutely naked.
*Questions answered at the discretion of Jack. Answers posted at the discretion of our imaginary legal team.